The good old days - Making sense of the endless longing

Do not say, “Why were the old days better than these?”
    For it is not wise to ask such questions. - Eccl. 7:10

Every one has those 'gold old days' moments, when we recall some exciting moment in life. Sometimes it is even years later when we look back and say "Those days were so much fun! I didn't realise how good things were!" This is something good, a way of appreciating  the good things in life. A grateful attitude is also good going forward, it makes us less complacent, less self-pitying and more open to enjoy the good we come across today. This can also give us hope for making more golden memories in days ahead!

But there is a danger, a "twisted" form of remembering the past. We can create a "golden age" in our minds, and turn that into a debilitating excuse to stop really living in the present. We can get stuck in fantasies of that "peak moment" in life and refuse to do anything significant today.

Different people have different "peak" exciting moments in life. Others will talk of their early days (pre-teen), others speak of secondary school (high school?) days, other still college days, and others life after thirty. There is nothing wrong with such memories. They are good and we should be thankful. But the problem is when we begin to moan "Why were the old days better than these?"

The Pulpit Commentary describes someone who thinks like this as follows; "in his moody discontent he looks on what is around him with a jaundiced eye, and sees the past through a rose-tinted atmosphere, as an age of heroism, faith, and righteousness." He goes on to say, "Every age has its light and dark side; the past was not wholly light, the present is not wholly dark. And it may well be questioned whether much of the glamour shed over antiquity is not false and unreal." So the problem is, we forget the past had its own challenges. But because we no longer have to wrestle with decisions and danger, the 'past' has become a safe place. This mindset is dangerous for the present!
Sometimes the Pan-African philosophy can reach this extreme. As much as colonization was a horrible injustice, we must also remember that Africa was not a paradise before then! Wars, slave trade and abuse were real. In the desire to become Afrocentric, we must not imagine it was all garden of Eden two hundred or one thousand years ago. Like all cultures, we had our strengths and weaknesses. But in our attempt to paint a picture of the past, we must be wary of creating a false historical apex. Otherwise our goal will be an imagined point which did not exist. When we are deceitful are the past, we will fail to truly learn from history, and map a prudent way forward. We get stuck in a fantasy, and grumbling and complaining about the present.

In truth, the only garden of Eden was the garden of Eden. The root problem is not how the African paradise was disturbed, as much as that was unprovoked hostility. The root problem goes deeper.

Two things we need to remember. The first: 

 There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:

²     a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,
³     a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
⁴     a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
⁵     a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
⁶     a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
⁷     a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
⁸     a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.

-Eccl. 3:1-8

Some things end simply because time is up. Our safe places are, at best, only here for a short time, not forever. At least in the present world. The second is, (I forget who said this), the dividing line between good and evil is not simply between countries, ideologies or parties, but runs right through every human heart. We are fragile and faulty, struggling internally and externally.

Once we accept the nature of our world, this will not placate our longing for permanent security, emotional and otherwise. Rather, it can only be a pointer to One who promises to fill our longing for never ending purpose, secure identity, love and spirituality. All the good things of this life, as really and truly good as they are, are only a hint of what the world always should have been. As C. S. Lewis put it, if we have desires this world cannot satisfy (but only hint at) this shows we were made for another (permanent) one. What we do with this hint, and how we satisfy the longing, is another matter entirely. But for Lewis and others, the answer lies in the Easter story, the one man who conquered the ultimate enemy that cuts short life - death itself.

Let's be real: Why some biographies are more depressing than helpful

Would you rather read the story of a perfect hero who has never had any struggles or real temptations, or a hero who had to overcome problems and discouragement to succeed? Most people would want the hero they can identify with. What good is  hero who is immune to the struggles I face every day?

Zambia is 50 years old this year, as as we approach this anniversary I have taken special interest in books recording our 'brief' history. One danger when recording true life stories is that we can exaggerate events in people's lives, turning them into 100% heroes or villains. In the name of presenting an inspirational story, writers can edit out any signs of weakness or frustration, any mistakes and any bad decisions along the way. The motive is commendable right? Wrong!

When we create 'superhuman' heroes, we make someone who we can admire, but never aspire to become! If that hero was immune to mistakes and indecision, then we are so far removed that we have someone to admire, but not someone to imitate. This person cannot be a role model. Secondly, when we make our role models emotionless legends, we cause frustration because we know it is beyond us to ever become that. We are glad spectators, but we will also just sit around waiting for more heroes like that to show up and fix our problems. Our role becomes passive observers. We never react by saying "I want to do that!" The third issue is how we can be tempted to look down on those who are struggling to become better. We tend to feel pressured to always appear as if everything is alright, and hide our struggles, as if it is 'sub-human' or taboo to be facing any kind of struggle.

As more people write biographies, they should be mindful to present three-dimensional human beings, with dreams, frustrations, challenges, temptations, mistakes, skills, friends, enemies, tears, laughter, anger, fear and hope. Only then can me move beyond admiring our national heroes, to aspiring to become like them, in all the ways that they overcome evil around them and within.

In many business and church circles it seems taboo to present ourselves as going through the motions of human life in a fallen world. People want to pretend that all is well all the time or they are already in heaven, and look down on others. We are too image conscious, and pride ourselves in painting that perfect image, no matter what the reality is. So we end up with people that paint a plastic image of being happy day and night, free from struggles and temptations which the rest of us face. But we know that is only skin deep. They need to get past the image they are fighting to preserve, if they are to truly rise above the problems that are being swept under the carpet. After all, we are supposed to follow the 'Man of sorrows' who was 'acquainted with grief' (Isaiah 53) and who, though completely victorious, was tempted in every way (Hebrews 4). It takes more faith to admit "I am hurting" and "help" when everyone expects a novel image, than imitate the plastic smiles all around. And maybe, just maybe, someone might be encouraged by the sight of our honesty too.

What do work and music have in common?

Music is almost universally enjoyed. Almost everyone has some kind on sound they enjoying hearing in rhythm.  I love the sound of a good acoustic guitar, skilful voices accompanying the instrument (not the other way around!) and it feels like the world stands still. Other music makes you want to jump up and wave your hands. Still other music makes you shout for a friend to come hear a common favorite, as you turn up the volume!

Music is like language. It is used to express every emotion and almost every occasion. It is used at weddings, parties, funerals, official ceremonies, advertisements, funerals, competitions ... almost every area of life can have a song to express something.

If you could choose three songs, to say "These express what I feel and what my life is like", what songs would you choose?

Our choice of music may tell something about our lives and attitudes as well. Some music is always angry, some is always broken hearten, some is always joyful, and other music doesn't make sense (not even tot he one who sang the song!) At other times, the music rubs off on us, and we being to reflect the language and attitude of the songs in everyday life. It becomes a kind of peer pressure.

Work is a lot like music. Sometimes we endure music (when we are visitors) but it is not really our type. Sometimes we endure work as well! There are days when a favorite song does not appeal, much like work too. Other times we endure a popular song because everyone is singing in, then we find that we begin to like it. Same with work, we can start a new task and despise it, then find we enjoy it over time. We can also despise certain music because we believe it is offensive, destructive and simply rude. Some work also raises ethical questions.Sometimes, a song which has an offensive message may have a catchy tune, and we ignore the words for the love of the song. Some people endure work that makes them sick!

We should also say that work, principled and good work, is also beautiful. Human creativity, bringing order and provision to life is a beautiful thing. Hard as it may be, the order (or music) of life is lovely when we can use our gifts and talents to do something that expresses our mandate to nurture and shape life. A good biography is like a lovely song, tracing the path of work, love and challenges through ups and downs.

Some people ignore music as so much noise. The same way others see work as the disturbance between the weekends! But life is a rhythm and every point in the song matters, adding value to the next part. Our rest and our work both matter. Our skills and talents properly used are as much a part of the song of our lives as the weekends. The challenge is to live every part of our lives, to write every part of the song, that it makes the rest all the more beautiful. No sacred/secular divide. In the end, all of life can be a song of praise.

Looking for wisdom in the 21st century

When most people think of wisdom, they will either imagine someone with incredible academic skill (and language that only professors can understand) or street smarts (usually a fast talker with the ability to sell sand to Bushmen, perhaps a Katondo street salesman).  Alternatively they may think of a man with a long grey beard sitting on a hill side gazing at a waterfall in deep thought. But the real picture of wisdom is very different. Most importantly, real wisdom is available to all of us.

Wisdom is about skilful living. More accurately, wisdom would be understanding life and skilful living would be called “prudence” (i.e. timely application of principles), but they fall in the same “family” of words. Wisdom is timeless, that is why it can be passed on from generation to generation. Let us also remember that human nature does not change, even if technology does. That means that, in principle, wisdom has value across the generations, no matter the context it will be applied in. David Atkinson, writing about the book of Proverbs, tells us:

despite the centuries which separate us from the authors of these sayings, the unchanging continuities of human existence remain: making friends, coping with sexuality, handling money, responding to poverty, making  a living, learning through loss, muddling through difficulties, facing death, and so on. These are the constant human themes, and Proverbs addresses them all. Wisdom is about helping people to cope; about seeing things in a fresh way which gives resources for living… it puts a mirror up to our behaviour and says, ‘Are you like this? Is there a better way to live?’ 

This presupposes, as I have already said, that there is a common thread connecting us, a shared human nature. This nature, both physical and moral, can be called an order or law of nature. Atkinson goes on to say:

We know deep inside us, what moral obligation means, and that it confronts us from without. Moral obligation is not simply something we make up for ourselves. We know that recoiling in horror against genocide in Rwanda or ‘ethnic cleansing’ in Bosnia is not a matter of personal taste and preference for those who do not like that sort of thing. There is an objective moral order which confronts us.

This is now more an African and Asian perspective than it is Western. Post modernism has swept through the first world and with it the idea that each person can choose their own right and wrong, their own wisdom. Now the voices protest about anyone insisting on moral standards at all. Hopefully, the tide is turning. Atkinson further explains:

in recent decades there have been moral philosophers who have argued that morality, if it means anything at all, is essentially private and personal. That usually means subjective and relative. More recently, however, there has been a recovery of the fact that moral obligation has an objective dimension (which ordinary common sense tells most of us anyhow).

Once he has made a case for objective morals which apply to all human beings, he focuses on the personal, omniscient source of these standards. “Christian believers identify that source of moral value with God.”

The search for wisdom only makes sense if there is a standard which applies to all people of all times. That standard only makes sense if there is a guarantee that the system will continue to work, to bring a satisfying foundation for our true identity, the road to a fulfilling purpose and that life can have meaning even in the midst of meaningless trouble and apparently senseless times and chance.

For Atkinson, as for those who share his faith, there can only be one conclusion:

The God whom Jesus Christ reveals is the Creator whose ordering wisdom lies behind everything that exists, whose moral character gives meaning to our awareness of right and wrong, and whose Holy Spirit infuses us with life, light, love and creativity.

We cannot begin a search for wisdom without accepting that there is a standard of right and wrong that is bigger than all of us. If we fail to do this, then there is not only no point to the hunger and longing, but there is also no logic is any of us ever again saying “It’s not fair”. But somehow even the most confident agnostic will not say “This is inconvenient” or “this is illogical” but “It’s not fair, it’s not right” when they are wronged (however they may interpret wrong in the post-modernist philosophy). Learning wisdom begins in seeing right and wrong. It’s that simple. But this is only the beginning of the journey, which leads us to the source, and all that is in store for those who hunger and thirst for more.